Trying to control the outcome feels safe, but letting go sets you free...
A message for those guiding others through life…
There’s something I see again and again with the women I work with - specially those who support others…
You’re incredible at guiding vulnerable souls on their paths….
Holding space and helping them process the deeper thoughts and feelings…
But when it comes to your own healing…
Letting go…can feel so…alien, almost impossible.
You’re so used to leading the process…
Used to knowing the way…
Being the one in control.
So when the roles shift, and you’re invited to sit in the unknown - to drop the plan, loosen your grip, and explore your own subconscious stories…
Something in you resists.
I see it often…
In fact, one of my clients - a truly talented counsellor - said to me on our very first session:
“I want to go deeper… I need this work, but I can already feel my resistance rising. I’m afraid of what I’ll find”...
She wanted to feel confident again…
To trust herself and stop second guessing everything.
And believe that she was enough - not just for her clients, but for herself too.
But control felt safer…
Predictability felt safer…
Knowing what to expect felt safer.
Underneath it all she was still carrying the same belief so many of us are:
“If I stop holding it all together…I’ll fall apart”...
Why We Struggle to Let Go
So often, control looks like strength…
But it’s really just fear dressed up as leadership.
Fear that if we surrender - even just for a moment - everything will collapse…
That we’ll lose credibility, stability, ourselves….
Fear that if we don’t control the outcome, we won’t be enough.
But that grip…the need to manage, predict, stay three steps ahead…
It’s not helping you move forward.
It’s the very thing keeping you trapped in the same patterns and cycles.
I’ve said this to myself (and the women I support):
The part of you trying to control the process…
Is the same part that’s afraid of what might be unearthed.
When you're used to managing others' emotions - their crises, chaos, and breakthroughs - it can feel unnatural to fully surrender to your own.
Healing asks something different of us.
It asks us to allow, not control…
To trust, not know…
And meet what we’ve been avoiding - gently, honestly, and without a timeline.
Oh, the timeline - I was a slave to it in the past - have you been, or are you still now?
What if you stopped managing the process?
What if instead of navigating it all yourself, you let yourself be guided?
What if you released the pressure to already have the answer, and allowed yourself to sit with the question?
What if you trusted that surrender wasn’t weakness…but your infinite strength?
What I’ve learned is:
You can’t out-think a pattern that was formed beneath your awareness.
You can’t shift beliefs that were rooted in survival by overriding them with logic.
And you definitely can’t find soul level self trust through control.
You find it by gently loosening your grip…
Allowing your body to breathe deeper…
Allowing your mind rest from the planning…
Allowing your heart to finally speak without interruption…
You find it by trusting yourself enough to not know the outcome.
And that’s where the real alignment, contentment and peace begins.
Letting go together
When you’re willing to let go, here is a beautifully powerful self-hypnosis you can listen to.
Simply listen when it feels right for you - don’t worry if you fall asleep, the subconscious is always listening.
It will gently suggest to your subconscious that it’s safe to let go of resistance and the need to control (especially in your own healing) and build more trust and certainty.
Enjoy this time of healing 💛
Amanda x